I get the chills everytime someone talks about Milwaukee getting “cool.”

For fifteen years, viagra buy sale I’ve been blessed to be able to call Milwaukee my home.

And now, doctor whenever I hear someone talk about extending Chicago’s Metra to Milwaukee or touting Milwaukee as a tourist destination of historic value or saying how Harley is going to make Milwaukee even more “happening,” I say to myself…

…please, Lord, let Milwaukee remain a forgotten little corner of the country.

Let the fools in Minneapolis and Miami keep thinking of us as the home of Laverne & Shirly.

Let the bozos in Boston and Berkley look down their noses at our beer & brats.

Don’t let Milwaukee become the new home to twenty-something morons from New York and L.A. looking for the next cool city.

I don’t want to be surrounded by trendy twits.

I don’t want the hamburgers at Kopps to start coming covered in goat cheese.

I don’t want to battle guys with british accents for the last bar stool at At Random.

I don’t want to see Paris Hilton in a trench coat (and nothing else) sneaking around at The Safe House.

Leave me in peace to enjoy my unspoiled views of a great lake.

Let me keep the feeling that the Milwaukee Art Museum spreads its wings for me alone.

Let me enjoy the electric thrill I still get when walking into The Milwaukee Rep‘s Powerhouse theater (which started life as a real power plant).

Let Seattle and Miami and Minneapolis and San Francisco enjoy the “benefits” of being the places to be.

I pray that Milwaukee will remain one of America’s last really sincere cities.

And the best place I’ve ever been lucky enough to call home.

6 comments March 11th, 2006